Wednesday, October 31, 2012

something bigger than yourself

today is the three year anniversary of my father's passing ... he was 60 ... i turned 40 just a couple of months ago ... if i had had a child at 23 like my father did, then i would have a senior in high school right now ... that is unimaginable to me. at 23, i was in paris; i know to whom i'd be married.

my father died from esophageal cancer and bone cancer ... he had always had bad heartburn ... in march his shoulder started hurting, in august he was diagnosed, and in october he passed ... he didn't smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs, work near toxic chemicals or mine. the only thing i can think of is he drank a lot of diet sodas.

outcomes like that tell me that you must always follow your dream, follow your passion ... be true to yourself ... because you just might get that first fatal ache tomorrow or suffer a heart attack today at lunch.

if you can be gone so quickly, then always be fighting for something bigger than yourself.

i imagine that is the purpose for having children ... for continuation ... but if both commitments begin at the same time, and i must choose between one or the other, then i will follow my path first, and worry about having children second.

RECs and solar in New Mexico, baby! ... Unfortunately, a new beginning does require an ending, first.

Next up: the ending.